Barraged by the Question “Why?” Lately?
Your child is discovering the world and engaging in conversation with you. Keep the communication flowing (and watch for signs that her speech is developing appropriately). To encourage her continued learning, introduce new playthings, take her to new places, and read to her regularly.
Tips for Supporting Your Child’s Development:
- Encourage Exploration: Show her new toys and take her to new environments to stimulate curiosity and learning.
- Reading Together: Make reading a daily habit to build her vocabulary and comprehension.
- Potty Training: Don’t push her to potty train until she’s ready. Follow her cues and be patient.
- Honesty About Doctor Visits: Be honest about what’s coming at the doctor’s office. Prepare her and maintain a positive attitude to help her cope.
- Respect Hand Dominance: Her hand dominance might be apparent by now—respect her preference and support her choice.
Maintaining an open and honest dialogue with your child fosters trust and helps her navigate new experiences with confidence.
Asking Questions
Your little one is becoming a budding conversationalist, even if you’re the one leading most of the conversation. He’s starting to ask lots of questions, fulfilling two needs: it’s a way of learning about things and a means of keeping the conversation going with you. This prolonged engagement allows him to absorb more words.
Early favorite questions include “Why?” and “What’s that?” As his language skills advance, so will his inquiries: “What’s making that sound?” “What if the car went off the road?” “Why don’t birds fall down?”
Tips for Responding to Questions:
- Provide Prompt Answers: Respond to his questions promptly, using simple, full sentences. For example: “I hear a dog barking. Is that what you heard?” “Birds have wings that keep them up in the air.” Being responsive encourages more questions, and your answers help him learn sentence structure.
- Encourage Curiosity: Don’t hesitate to say “I don’t know” and find a book on the subject to share with him.
- Engage During Reading: Your 2-year-old loves to answer questions as much as asking them. When reading books, ask about the pictures or the story: “Where is the brown doggie?” “What do you think he likes to eat?” “What will happen next?”
Encouraging his curiosity and engagement in conversation fosters his language development and strengthens your bond.
Slow Motion
Two-year-olds often operate on a different schedule than adults. They can get easily distracted on their way to the dinner table and insist on putting on socks “by self,” no matter how long it takes. Even the most patient parents can feel tested, particularly when they’re pressed for time.
Instead of urging your 2-year-old to hurry, pause and consider if you can allow your child to proceed at their own pace. Is it absolutely necessary to go to the park right now? Taking some deep breaths and exhaling slowly can help. Counting to ten might also help you slow down. When you are truly in a hurry, it’s acceptable to step in and move your child along, especially if you usually let them follow their own schedule on less hectic days.
Brain Boosters
Your child’s brain is buzzing with activity as it forms countless new neural connections, helping them understand the whats, whys, and hows of the world. To nurture an eager learner:
Introduce a wide variety of playthings: big toys to push or ride, wind-up toys or jack-in-the-boxes (to demonstrate cause and effect), play sets and blocks for handling and stacking, puzzles, dress-up clothes, puppets, and art supplies. Rotate these items to keep them interesting, storing some and bringing out others each week. Allow your child to explore things around the house freely. Stimulate all their senses. Provide tactile toys (such as clay and sand) and musical toys (like a xylophone or maracas). Expose them to new places and experiences: a pool, a zoo, the airport. Always have books available. Visit your local library often to restock.
Public Temper Tantrums
Eventually, you’ll encounter the dreaded public temper tantrum. These outbursts often occur because both you and your child feel additional pressure in social settings (you feel more judged; they feel more overstimulated). Public tantrums can quickly escalate as your child senses your uncertainty and enjoys the attention they receive.
If ignoring the tantrum for a few minutes doesn’t work, or if it’s too disruptive to wait it out, calmly remove your child from the scene. It may feel like everyone is watching, and some people might be, but it’s more likely that they are offering silent empathy, not judging you. Once your child regains self-control, return to the situation as if nothing happened. Don’t make a big deal about it. Another parent will likely be in your shoes the next day.
Potty Time
Is it time to start potty training? Most 2-year-olds aren’t able to stay dry all day and night, but many are ready to begin the process. As you start, look for these signs that she’s making progress:
Willingness to use the potty when asked or on her own, even if she sits without any results. Ability to tell you when she needs to use the potty, though she might sometimes notice just a moment before wetting. Longer periods of dryness during the day and waking up dry from naps. The most challenging part of potty training is not pushing your child too hard, as this can backfire. Praise her successes and don’t make a big deal out of accidents. Hold off on night-time training until she can consistently stay dry during the day.
Making Choices
It’s a good time to start letting your child make some of her own choices. Involving her in decisions encourages better cooperation and gives your 2-year-old a sense of control in a world where she doesn’t have much say.
Some ground rules: Don’t offer a choice in situations where she really has no choice. For example, before going to the park, don’t ask if she wants to put on a shirt; instead, ask if she wants to wear the blue shirt or the red one. At naptime, don’t ask if she wants to nap or play. Also, limit her options to just two or three. Remember how overwhelming it can feel even for an adult to choose from 31 flavors of ice cream!
Scared of the Doctor
A sparkling imagination is one of the most delightful parts of a 2-year-old’s personality—except when it manifests as fears. As they develop the ability to form mental images beyond what’s in front of them, they can become scared of various things. When you add in some kids’ dislike of strangers and their ability to remember past experiences (like the pain of a vaccination), you often end up with a big fear of the doctor.
Some ways to handle this:
Bring a special “doctor bag” filled with a toy stethoscope, thermometer, and other tools so your child can play doctor. Include a baby doll to be your child’s “patient.” Discuss what will happen: “First, we’ll walk to the big desk and say your name. Then we’ll sit and read a book while we wait…” Hold your 2-year-old on your lap during the exam and shots, if possible. Be honest. Never say, “The shot won’t hurt a bit.” Avoid making promises that might not be true, such as, “You won’t get a shot,” if there’s a chance they might. Stay positive. Two-year-olds are very good at reading facial cues and body language.
Testing Limits
If your 25-month-old seems to exist just to test your limits, remember that it’s part of her job. By exploring endlessly and pushing boundaries, your child learns what’s acceptable and what’s not. Many parents hesitate to say “no” for fear of dampening their child’s spirit. However, “no” is a crucial and important word. Your child won’t understand the rules unless you clearly define what’s okay and what’s not.
Keep in mind that 2-year-olds can’t grasp long-winded explanations about why hoarding toys and hitting a playmate are bad ideas. They need to quickly and clearly understand that such behaviors are not acceptable. Try to maintain a tone that is firm but warm and encouraging. Patience is your best ally!
Biting Strategies
Two-year-olds often bite when they’re mad or feel threatened, usually because they have trouble communicating their feelings. Actions speak louder than words, so they resort to biting.
While biting is understandable, it is not acceptable. Clearly let your child know this behavior is not allowed. Be calm but firm: “No biting. Biting hurts people.” Then focus on soothing the child who was bitten. Making a big fuss over the biter can encourage them to use this tactic for attention again. Later, empathize with your child and repeat the rule: “You were mad because Sam took your truck. But no biting. If you get mad, use your words or come tell Mommy.”
Sometimes “biting epidemics” occur in daycare groups. This happens because 2-year-olds are keen observers and mimic behaviors that get strong reactions from adults. This is another reason to handle the situation in a firm but low-key manner.
Short Attention Span
What’s a reasonable length of time to expect your child to sit still? Probably much less than the duration of a typical religious service, speech, or ceremony. Impulsive and wiggly, your 2-year-old doesn’t yet have the developmental ability to behave appropriately in these situations. A good rule of thumb for normal attention span is three to five minutes per year of age.
When you must attend a formal gathering, bring along quiet diversions such as books, crayons, stickers, a favorite stuffed animal, or a brand-new interesting toy. Snacks can also help. Seat yourselves in a location that allows for a quick and discreet exit if necessary.
Developmental Milestones
How can you gauge if your child is developing as expected? By age 2, children begin to progress at different rates in acquiring new skills. However, the American Academy of Pediatrics outlines milestones that most children achieve by their second birthday. Your 2-year-old should typically be able to:
Point to an object when you name it. Recognize the names of familiar people, objects, and body parts. Use short phrases and construct two- to four-word sentences. Follow simple instructions. Repeat words they hear. Find an object even if it’s hidden under two or three blankets. Sort objects by shape or color. Engage in make-believe play. If you’re concerned that your child seems to be lagging behind, discuss it with their doctor. Professional assessment, along with ongoing observation—and your insights, as nobody knows your child as well as you do—are the best ways to address any potential issues.
Empathy for You
Your little one isn’t just trailing behind you everywhere; they’re also observing you closely and developing a strong sense of empathy. Should you hide your intense emotions from them? Not necessarily. It’s beneficial for them to understand that people express their feelings. Offer a simple explanation: “I was crying because I missed Daddy, and it made me sad. But now I feel better. Let’s have a big hug, and I’ll feel even greater, then we can have lunch!” If you experience an angry outburst, reassure them so they’re not frightened. (All parents have moments of losing their temper, even though your aim is to remain as calm and rational as possible.)
Language Red Flags
Between ages 2 and 3, your child’s spoken vocabulary can expand to up to 300 words, while their understanding may encompass up to 900 words. However, not all children start speaking in clear, complete sentences by age 2. Some rely on gestures and a basic vocabulary for several months.
Others may chatter away, but their pronunciation might be decipherable only by you. In both cases, the child may be perfectly normal, simply progressing at their own pace through the intricate process of mastering speech.
Mispronunciations are common, with typical trouble spots being the sounds “th” (pronounced as “d” or “f”), “l” (pronounced as “w” or “y”), and “s” (sounding lispy, like “eth”). Two-year-olds might also mix up word order in their rush to communicate (“Mommy now cup juice Sam”) or stutter (“J- j- joo- juice”). Usually, these issues resolve themselves over time without requiring speech therapy.
However, red flags for speech development at this age include:
- Speaking very little or not at all.
- Failing to imitate others’ speech.
- Omitting entire consonants (e.g., saying “og” instead of “dog”).
- Not using two- to four-word sentences by age 3.
- Never asking questions (e.g., “What’s that?”) or showing frustration when not understood.
Time Outs
Many child specialists suggest that age 2 is an appropriate time to begin using time-outs as a teaching tool. At this age, your child is old enough to understand cause and effect and can sit still for short periods. If you decide to implement time-outs, here are some key elements to make them successful:
- A warning: Give your child a chance to stop the undesirable behavior by letting them know that if it continues, they’ll need a time-out to calm down.
- A designated place: You can choose a specific “time-out” spot or have your child sit where they are. Some parents use a small “time-out” towel for this purpose.
- Maintain a calm demeanor: Stay calm and matter-of-fact. Avoid lecturing during the time-out; the purpose is to provide a break from the attention your child craves.
- Focus on the behavior: Make it clear that it’s the behavior you dislike, not your child.
- Use a timer: The typical penalty is one minute per year of age, but for a 2-year-old, 30 seconds to a minute is sufficient.
- Redirection: Avoid dwelling on what your child did wrong. Once the time-out is over, guide them toward a positive, engaging activity.
Leftie or Rightie?
During the past year, you may have noticed your toddler starting to favor one hand over the other for tasks like eating or reaching. (Babies typically use their hands interchangeably.) In the coming year, the use of the dominant hand will become more consistent, and you’ll likely determine whether your child is left-handed or right-handed.
Still unsure? Try this: Hold out a toy and observe which hand your child uses to reach for it. Notice which hand they use to pick up their spoon during meals. The dominant hand is usually stronger and more dexterous, so it’s the one they’re likely to use.
A minority of children remain ambidextrous, using both hands equally until kindergarten. Some children may use their dominant hand for eating and writing but the other hand for activities like throwing a ball. Handedness is largely genetic. Only about one in 10 people are left-handed, but if both parents are lefties, there’s a 50 percent chance their child will be too.
Avoid attempting to change your child’s natural preference. Forcing them to use their non-dominant hand can lead to frustration and waste energy that could be better spent on skill development and learning.
Childproofing
Childproofing is crucial at this stage. As your child grows more mobile and curious, it’s essential to assess your home from their perspective. Hazards to a super-curious, super-mobile explorer include standing pails of water (a drowning risk) and drawers that could pinch fingers or contain sharp objects (consider adding another layer of drawer locks). Remove cleansers and poisons from reachable areas, and keep poison control phone numbers handy on your phone or fridge.
Accidents may become more common as busy 2-year-olds focus more on where they’re going than what’s in their way. Keep floors clear of throw rugs, toys, and other tripping hazards. Ensure you’re well-equipped with bandages, antibiotic ointment, and plenty of kisses to treat those inevitable scratches and scrapes.
