What are you feeling right now as you start reading this? Are you curious? Hopeful to learn more about yourself? Maybe you’re bored because this is a school assignment you’re not excited about, or happy because you enjoy the project. You might even be distracted, thinking about weekend plans or feeling sad after a breakup.
Emotions like these are a natural part of being human. They provide insight into our experiences and help guide our reactions.
From the time we’re born, we sense and respond to emotions. Babies and young children show emotions through facial expressions and actions like laughing, cuddling, or crying. Although they can feel and display emotions, they don’t yet understand or explain them.
As we grow older, we become more capable of recognizing our emotions. Instead of just reacting, we learn to identify and describe what we’re feeling. Over time, with practice, we improve in recognizing our emotions and understanding their cause. This ability is called emotional awareness.
Emotional awareness helps us understand our needs and desires. It also strengthens relationships, as being aware of our emotions allows us to express feelings more clearly, handle conflicts better, and move on from difficult emotions more easily.
While some people are naturally more connected to their emotions, anyone can develop greater emotional awareness with practice. It’s worth the effort, as emotional awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence, a skill that can lead to success in life.
Emotions 101
Here are some basics about emotions:
- Emotions are temporary. We feel many different emotions throughout the day. Some last only seconds, while others can linger and affect our mood.
- Emotions can range from mild to intense, depending on the situation and the person.
- There are no «good» or «bad» emotions, but there are positive and negative ways to express them. Learning to express emotions appropriately is a separate skill — emotional management — which builds on understanding emotions.
It’s All Good
Some emotions feel positive, like happiness, confidence, love, or gratitude. Others can feel negative, such as anger, fear, guilt, or sadness. Both positive and negative emotions are normal.
Emotions provide important information about ourselves and our circumstances. However, we often struggle to accept certain emotions, like jealousy. Instead of judging ourselves for feeling a certain way, it’s better to simply acknowledge what we feel.
Avoiding negative emotions or pretending they don’t exist can have the opposite effect. It’s harder to move past difficult feelings if we ignore them or don’t try to understand them. You don’t need to dwell on your emotions or always talk about how you feel. Emotional awareness is about recognizing, accepting, and respecting your feelings as they arise.
Building Emotional Awareness
Emotional awareness allows us to better understand and accept ourselves. To develop this skill, follow these three steps:
- Tune in to your emotions throughout the day. Pay attention to how you feel in different situations. You might notice excitement when making plans with a friend, nervousness before a test, or relaxation while listening to music. Once you recognize the emotion, name it in your mind. This practice only takes a moment but helps increase emotional awareness. Also, observe how each emotion fades and makes room for the next.
- Rate the intensity of your emotions. After identifying an emotion, rate how strongly you feel it on a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is the mildest and 10 is the most intense.
- Share your emotions with those closest to you. Talking about your emotions helps you put them into words, which strengthens connections with others, whether it’s a friend, parent, or partner. Make it a habit to share your feelings daily with someone. You can talk about something personal or even just an everyday feeling.
Like any skill, emotional awareness improves with practice. Remember, there are no “right” or “wrong” emotions. Avoid judging your feelings and simply focus on recognizing and naming them.