Implementing strategies aimed at encouraging children to embrace moments of tranquility can significantly enhance their emotional intelligence and cognitive abilities.
Amy Carson finds solace in her four-year-old daughter’s current inclination to silence—and it suits her just fine. Rather than opting for a drive post-playdate, Carson chooses to push Isa in her stroller for a walk, granting them both respite from life’s hustle and bustle. These 15-minute quiet jaunts prove remarkably beneficial.
«Taking this silent interlude after outings really helps Isa,» Carson explains. «She seems more at ease observing the world around her while resting against the stroller, as opposed to after a car ride, where we typically engage in conversation or listen to music.»
Any parent will attest that amidst the symphony of family life, moments of silence are akin to gold. Yet, they also hold merit for a child’s mental well-being.
Silence acts as a shield against external stimuli, offering space for emotional processing. Put simply, the absence of noisy distractions aids children’s comprehension of their surroundings. Indeed, numerous studies suggest that silence may elevate levels of the feel-good hormone oxytocin, thereby reducing stress, enhancing focus, clarifying thoughts, and fostering a general tranquility conducive to emotional regulation.
«Children require opportunities to strategically disengage from the complexities of social interactions, step back, reflect, and weave together narratives about their identities,» remarks Mary Helen Immordino-Yang, a professor specializing in education, psychology, and neuroscience at the University of Southern California.
Admittedly, children and silence aren’t typically synonymous. A study conducted by researchers from the University of Virginia and Harvard University revealed that college students preferred subjecting themselves to minor electric shocks over enduring complete silence for 15 minutes.
«Life, especially with children, brims with sensations and activity,» notes Meghan Fitzgerald, co-founder and chief learning officer at Tinkergarten, an early education program centered on outdoor learning. «Anyone who has worked with children understands that expecting absolute stillness or silence is often futile.»
Fortunately, there’s no need to coerce children into silent meditation to reap the benefits of quietude. Experts suggest incorporating periods of quiet time—melding silence with calming activities like puzzles or painting—which prove equally effective. Similarly, daydreaming can serve as a mental retreat for children’s thoughts. Even focusing on soothing sounds, such as those found in nature or gentle hums, can help center children.
In essence, integrating a daily dose of silence into a child’s routine by carving out pockets of tranquility is akin to providing them with a mental health supplement. Here’s how to begin
The rationale behind the importance of silence
For children, silence serves a purpose beyond just a break from the noise. «A child requires silence to maintain harmony,» emphasizes Eric Pfeifer, a professor specializing in aesthetics and communication at the Catholic University of Applied Sciences in Freiburg, Germany. «It holds immense significance in a child’s development. Just envision an orchestra with all its musicians playing continuously without pause. It would result in an intolerable cacophony.»
Essentially, silence reduces distractions, thereby aiding children in relaxation. This relaxation, in turn, triggers activity in the brain’s hippocampus, crucial for forming memories that underpin vital life skills such as decision-making and empathy. Consequently, during moments of silence, children can organize their thoughts, comprehend their emotions, and recalibrate their response to stress.
Moreover, silence offers children the opportunity for internal reflection and profound contemplation. According to research conducted by the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development, adolescents capable of such reflection exhibit greater brain growth compared to their counterparts who cannot. «This increased brain growth subsequently correlates with the youngsters’ self-esteem and satisfaction in both social and professional relationships,» notes Immordino-Yang, a co-author of the study.
Furthermore, even partial silence can have a positive impact on children’s emotional well-being. While not yet explored in children, studies have shown that the soothing tones of singing bowls can activate the brain’s reward center, releasing dopamine, the «feel-good» hormone. Additionally, researchers from the University of Sussex have found that exposure to natural sounds like flowing water redirects the brain’s focus outward, stimulating the parasympathetic system associated with tranquility and wellness. Conversely, artificial sounds such as car horns trigger a threat response in the anterior brain, akin to what is observed in cases of depression and anxiety.
Incorporating moments of silence into your child’s routine
According to Pfeifer, exposing children to various forms of silence early on can pave the way for them to appreciate these moments later in life. Here are some ways parents can integrate quiet times into their children’s lives:
- Lead by example. Pfeifer suggests that if parents value silence, it becomes easier to instill the same in their children. Approach demonstrating silence much like reading—a visible example of quiet behavior may prompt your child to follow suit. By taking just a few minutes to simply gaze out the window, you signal to your child that silence is a valuable option. «Children are highly attuned to their parents’ behaviors,» Pfeifer adds. «They pick up on what brings comfort to their parents, both consciously and subconsciously.»
- Play the Quiet Game. Instead of plunging into deep, meditative silences immediately, start with small steps. Embrace «quiet» moments—those flexible, leisurely intervals devoid of noise—which can then pave the way for more concentrated silence, as suggested by Jane Brox, author of «Silence.» Playing the Quiet Game, akin to a parent’s favorite car game, serves as a transition from «quiet» to silence. The objective is simple: everyone remains silent for a specified duration or until a landmark is reached. The child who maintains silence the longest emerges as the winner.
- Embrace natural quiet moments with teens. Rather than resorting to music or superficial inquiries such as «How was school?» allow for naturally occurring moments of silence. Brox encourages adults to rethink silence as something to be cherished rather than eradicated. Embrace the initial discomfort; you might be surprised at what unfolds afterward.
- Connect with nature. While silence proves beneficial both indoors and outdoors, Pfeifer’s research indicates that participants experience a greater sense of relaxation and diminished boredom when exposed to silence in a city garden compared to a seminar room. To encourage children to appreciate outdoor silence, involve them in activities such as mapping their favorite quiet spots or embarking on sound scavenger hunts, ranking different sounds from quietest to loudest. Engaging in forest bathing can also be an enjoyable experience.
- Explore sound baths. Experiment with DIY versions of singing bowls using wine glasses filled with water. Run a wet finger along the rim to produce varying pitches. Alternatively, let children explore humming sounds and feel the vibrations resonating in their bodies. Jaime Amor, co-founder of Cosmic Kids, utilizes bells to guide children into a state of inner focus. Have your child sit cross-legged, listening to the bell’s sound with their hands on their knees until the tone dissipates, then transition to placing their hands in their lap.