Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to understand, manage, and express emotions effectively while also recognizing and influencing the emotions of others. It plays a vital role in building strong relationships, making thoughtful decisions, and navigating social interactions. EI encompasses skills like self-awareness, empathy, emotional regulation, and effective communication. By fostering emotional intelligence, individuals can better handle stress, resolve conflicts, and create a positive impact in both personal and professional settings, leading to overall well-being and success.
More Than One
You’ve probably heard people talk about «IQ» when discussing intelligence. IQ, or «intellectual quotient,» measures a person’s intellectual abilities and can predict how well someone might do academically. However, IQ is just one aspect of our abilities. There are other types of intelligence, such as spatial intelligence (the ability to think in 3D), musical intelligence (the ability to recognize rhythm and tone), and even athletic, arti
One crucial type of intelligence is emotional intellig
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage our emotions. Often called EQ (emotional quotient), it can predict success in social and emotional situations, much like how IQ predicts academic success. EQ helps us build strong relationships, make good decisi
Think of EQ as part of being «people-smart.» Understanding and getting along with others can lead to success in almost every area of life. Studies show that EQ can be even more important than IQ for success in school or work.
Some people have naturally high EQ, while others need to work on it. The good news is that unlike IQ, which remains relatively stable, EQ can be improved with practice.
Improving Your EQ
Emotional intelligence involves several skills:
Being Aware of Your Emotions
Throughout the day, people experience various emotions. Some are brief, like surprise, while others last longer, like happiness or sadness. Being able to notice and label these emotions accurately is the foundation of EQ.
Being aware of your emotions helps you manage them and understand how others feel. Some people go through their day without really noticing their emotions. Start practicing by recognizing and labeling your feelings as they occur, like «I feel grateful» or «I feel frustrated.» Make it a habit to check in with your emotions daily.
Understanding How Others Feel and Why
Part of EQ is the ability to understand how others might feel in certain situations and why they feel that way. This ability to imagine someone else’s emotions, even without knowing for sure, is called empathy. Empathy helps us build strong friendships and guides us in how to interact with others who are experiencing strong emotions.
Managing Emotional Reactions
We all feel anger and disappointment at times. Expressing emotions is important, but managing them means knowing when, where, and how to express them. If you understand your emotions, you can use self-control to hold back a reaction when it’s not the right time or place. People with good EQ know that reacting impulsively or intensely can harm relationships.
Choosing Your Mood
Managing emotions also means choosing our moods. Moods are emotional states that last longer than individual emotions. We have the power to select a mood that suits a situation. Choosing the right mood can help you focus on a task, get motivated, or persevere instead of giving up. People with good EQ know that moods can be controlled and are not just things that happen to us.
EQ: Under Construction
Emotional intelligence develops as we grow older. If it didn’t, adults would act like young children, expressing emotions through tantrums, crying, or yelling.
Some EQ skills develop earlier, like recognizing emotions. However, skills like managing emotional reactions and choosing our mood can be harder to master because the part of the brain responsible for self-management continues to mature into our twenties. Practice helps strengthen these skills over time.
We can all improve our emotional intelligence by becoming more aware of our feelings, understanding how we arrived at them, empathizing with others, and expressing emotions appropriately.