Ever been in a bad mood that you can’t seem to shake? Or faced a pile of homework but just weren’t in the mood to start? It can feel like moods happen to us, but the truth is, we have the power to influence and change them. Choosing the mood best suited to a situation is a key skill of emotional intelligence. The right mood can help you handle whatever situation you’re in.
Mood + Mindset = Success
Moods and mindsets work together to influence how well we perform in different situations. Moods are the emotions we feel, while a mindset is the thoughts and beliefs that go along with that mood.
Here’s an example:
Imagine you’re competing in a swim meet. Which mood and mindset would help you perform your best?
- Mood A: Insecure, thinking, «Maybe I’m not good enough.»
- Mood B: Annoyed, thinking, «Swimming interferes with my social life.»
- Mood C: Pumped up and confident, thinking, «If I do my best, our team has a great chance.»
Option C clearly puts you in the best position to succeed. But what if you find yourself in Mood A or B? Luckily, you can change your mood.
How to Choose a Mood
Step 1: Identify Your Mood
To change your mood, first, recognize what you’re currently feeling. Check in with yourself and put your feelings into words like, «I’m really sad right now,» or «I feel frustrated.» You can say this silently, out loud, or to someone else.
Step 2: Accept What You Feel
Once you’ve named your emotion, show yourself some understanding. It’s okay and normal to feel bored, annoyed, or any other emotion. Accept how you feel, but know you don’t have to stay in that mood.
Step 3: Identify the Best Mood for the Situation
Consider which mood will help you in your current situation. For a swim meet, it’s best to feel pumped up and confident. For studying, it’s helpful to feel interested and focused. Think about which emotion will help you reach your goal.
How to Get Into the Best Mood
Once you’ve identified the best mood for the situation, use these «P for Positive» strategies to reset your mood:
- Purpose: Get clear on what you need to do. For example, you might want to finish studying quickly and efficiently so you can enjoy a party later.
- Place: Choose the right environment. For studying, find a quiet room rather than a busy coffee shop.
- People: Surround yourself with people who help you feel the way you need to. A focused classmate is a better study buddy than a chatty friend.
- Playlist: Music can strongly influence mood. Create playlists that help you feel the way you need to.
- Posture: Adjust your body to match the mood you want. For focus, try yoga. For energy, get your heart rate up with a workout. To relax, try deep breathing or gentle stretching.
- Promotion: Use positive self-talk to encourage yourself. Say things like, «I can do this!» or «Let’s focus for a while.»
How to Get Out of an Unhelpful Mood
To shift away from a mood that’s not helping, think «U for U-turn.» Try these strategies:
- Undo: Break the train of thought keeping you in the old mood. Distract yourself with a game, or look out the window for a few minutes to reboot your mind.
- Unstick: Change your body posture. Stand up, stretch, walk around. Moving your body helps shift your mindset.
- Unwind: Sit quietly and focus on your breathing. To keep your mind from drifting back to the old mood, think «I’m breathing in» and «I’m breathing out» with each breath.
You’ve probably chosen your mood before without realizing it. By practicing these techniques, you can intentionally choose your mood to suit any situation.
So next time you feel a strong mood, stop and name it. Ask if it’s the right mood for what you’re trying to accomplish. Even the happiest moods may not always fit the moment.